Neurotic Guilt + I’m Teaching Tonight!

Is optional.

We all know we’re our own worst critic, in theory.

But catching ourselves in the act of perseveration is hard, because it feels like the right thing to do. It feels natural to think about how we’re letting people down, how we’re not good enough.

So we don’t expect good things.

Instead we hope nothing too bad will happen and we spend our thought life scanning the horizon for potential attack. This isn’t bad. We have to problem solve. Everyday we have problems.

But they don’t have to blind us to possibility.

Last week I caught myself replaying a social scenario I felt like I failed. My story was I was a disappointment and had lost esteem and respect.

I felt like shit, meaning I felt like a little girl and shut down. I was anxious and a little ashamed.

Then I had the flicker of curiosity. I thought, what if this is the voice of the near enemy? The question opened up enough doubt in my fear that I did was I’ve trained myself to do when I’m caught in my head.

I sank down into my belly. Literally.

I put all my attention in my body and relocated the center of my attention from images and words between my eyebrows to the sensations of my body. I let my belly breath.

I let go.

Letting go isn’t getting rid of. Letting go is a cling free allowing.

But we have to be brave enough to stop suffering, to stop borrowing well being from gaming out how it’s going to go. To stop confusing prediction with ok ness.

To begin again.

To reclaim our condition less sanity.

But this is the work of rebellion, and going against the stream requires community.

You know where I’ll be at 4:30pm.

Yogalutionmovement of course!

Will I see you?

Xoxo

Carina

P.S. My yin yoga intensive, The Inner Asana, is almost here. You can still sign up.

P.P.S if you loved this, heart it and share with someone you love who needs it.

P.P.P.S

"Guilt feelings that last longer than half a minute are neurotic. Pervasive, prolonged, and paralyzing guilt is the result of the super ego at work. Neurotic pride says, "Look what you've done! You're just no good!" It accuses us not of having done wrong in a particular instance, but of being totally worthless."- Thomas Keating